Well, my children, my INITIATION is complete. Has been, actually, since Thursday morning; but I promised I'd get you some pictures.
Originally, INITIATION was going to be a very spiritual affair. I had ambitions of climbing Maple Mountain and spending the night up there contemplating the mysteries of life, or studying my scriptures, or gazing upon the full moon. I decided against Maple Mountain when my sister pointed out that mountain lions are nocturnal. Also highly carnivorous. Also local. Now, I'm just as brave as the next man, but I do enjoy my jugular the way it is, so I changed venue to a small park near my home.
Wednesday evening was amazing. Utah gets into a certain mood sometimes, like it's tired of being boring ol' Utah, and it puts on a show. On one side of the sky there were thick storm clouds. The sun painted them red, and lightning lanced down out of them on occasion. There was a smell of storm in the air, like any minute something amazing might happen. I had imagined a calm, peaceful night, but I kind of liked this better.
I was busy all day on Wednesday. My wonderful mother obliged me by putting the final touches on my robe and cowl. She has been surprisingly supportive of this idea.
A little after midnight, I donned my new robes and walked... solemnly... up the hill to the park.
The moon was full, and the storm clouds that had threatened had mostly cleared. It was perfect... for about ten minutes. Then the boredom set in. A cat gave up its hunt for a few minutes to come and introduce himself to me, and while it was pleasant to have company, it also kicked off my hay fever. Then, it began to get cold.
About 12.45 I bit the bullet and went back down to the house. I collected a blanket, my scriptures, and a small flashlight. I ended up never using the scriptures or the flashlight. Mostly I sat with the blanket wrapped around me, dozing uncomfortably on the park bench, wondering when the police were going to show up and end my misery.
4.10 am, I bit the bullet again and went back to the house. I dropped off my scriptures, flashlight, and blanket, and picked up a nice warm sleeping bag instead.
5.30 am, I woke from a surprisingly good nap. I felt bad that my vigil hadn't actually been that vigilant, and somewhat disappointed that the cops had never showed up. The sun wasn't quite up, but it was light out; so I rolled up the sleeping back and trudged back down the hill.
INITIATION wasn't all I had thought it would be, really. I realized, as I returned to the house, that like so many other things, if I had prepared better then it would have been much more amazing. No, being a MorMonk wasn't what I had thought it would be so far; but even with my plans constantly going awry, I am learning.
THIS completed INITIATION;
Now I can wear black robes in public and do all sorts of other weird things, but you know what I'm most excited about? Eating something other than bread.
No, seriously.
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